As a teenager I wore a thick mask. An average student and athlete, people pleaser who loved to write story poems and create weird things in shop class and the photography dark room. 

I also wanted to leave this world and nobody knew. I didn't have a plan but the thought crossed my mind regularly. Who would notice if I wasn't here?

Grade 11 was consumed with pain and faking smiles to just survive. Holding back tears daily, a lump in my throat the size of an apple. Teens smell fear like rabid dogs and they pounce. Though I was never shoved in a locker, I was ostracized by nearly my entire grade in a rural school. A few key "influencers" led the way, and my yearbook showcased the word "loser" on more than one occasion. I lived a victim existence for far too long following high school. My first major relationship lasted 4 years with a kind but troubled serious drug addict. My experience was my own, and perhaps I let that happen. For reasons unrealized until 2 decades later.

You may have unexplained challenges in your life that make zero sense. Let me say that God always has a way and a reason.

One of the key ecological needs of life is belonging. 

Every single human needs these 3 components for survival: love, safety and belonging. They make up your and my ecology. Sadly these can be overshadowed by our need for external validation (cue social media likes, hearts and comments). We don’t want to admit it but we are grossly addicted to our devices because of the reactions we receive.

I share this photo because I finally authentically showed up as me, smile unmasked, and truly proud of committing to a 12-week fitness challenge that transformed me. It was my springboard into all things transformation during a global pandemic that would rattle every one of us globally. 

Today I stand Certified in Mastery Transformation Coaching convicted in the principles of leadership for my clients, to help them understand their emotional triggers, choosing what is possible, and unshackling from the shame that used to halt their progress. Connecting them to who they authentically stand to be. Giving them permission to use courage to realize true joy and create a vibrant ripple effect that only God could understand.